The good ship Gender Idealist set out to circumnavigate the globe carrying a large number of Gender Missionaries to spread the word of the Gender Identity Gospel. Before they set off, the first mate, Jude Butler, being nimble and full of bravado, climbed the rigging to nail the Gender Identity colours high on the main mast.
When the banners streamed in the benign trade winds, the crew and the observers on the dock all cheered loudly.
Initially the ship encountered preternaturally calm seas and steady, following winds. So smooth was their passage, so clement the weather, they were surprised when a smaller ship, the Gender Realist, appeared on the horizon and began to overhaul them.
Fearful the Gender Realist would steal their wind and their doctrinal pre-eminence, the captain of the Gender Idealist gave the order to “person the cannons” and sink her.
Despite their far superior fire power, by dint of very bad aim and the adverse effects of several loose cannons, they only managed to damage the Gender Realist which fell behind as its crew tended the wounded and tried to repair the ship.
Those aboard the Gender Idealist rejoiced but their celebrations were premature as a heavily armed enemy ship, the Sex Essentialist, appeared on the horizon, all sails set and intent upon sending the Gender Idealist to the bottom of the sea, with all hands.
The crew of the heavily listing Gender Realist were divided on whether to ask for assistance from an enemy ship. A mutiny broke out and half the crew took to the boats and joined the Sex Essentialist.
After firing on the Gender Realist with the aim of crippling or sinking her, the Sex Essentialist set off in pursuit of the Gender Idealist.
As often happens at sea, the clement conditions changed. The fair trade winds died leaving the Gender Idealist becalmed and a sitting duck for the much larger and better armed Sex Essentialist.
Demasted, its sails in tatters and its supplies exhausted, the Gender Idealist limped into a port where many of its complement promptly absconded having seen another ship, Palestinian Rights, was in need of crew.
The Sex Essentialist, sans competition, could have sailed on spreading its fundamentalist doctrine but upon seeing another ship, Radical Zionist, step up its bombardment of the Palestinian Rights they decided to join forces with it
Meanwhile, out at sea, the crew of the Gender Realist were busy carrying out repairs and arguing about how best to launch a surprise attack on the enemy.
