Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Epidemic in 'Middle Earth'

It seems that Jacksonophilia and the closely related conditions of Hobbitomania and Tolkeinomania, are not just severely debilitating, they are also highly communicable and are resistant to treatment.

These conditions have reached epidemic proportions in New Zealand and can be so severe they render the sufferer almost completely incapable of rational thought or action.

Some argue that they are all the same condition, a syndrome arising from that other increasing phenomenon, Amygdalian Psychosis, in which chronic or acute excitation of the amygdala results in a persistent state of the fight or flight response.

For reasons not yet fully understood, most of the sufferers of Tolkeinomania,  Hobbitomania and Jacksonophilia, demonstrate a persistent state of primitive arousal normally manifesting in an extreme fight response. For this reason, some observers have begun to refer to the syndrome as Celebrity Related Amygdalian Psychosis.  

The afflicted person may exhibit paranoic and persecutory delusions in the presence of certain people who they perceive as a threat, especially anyone who questions the existence of the fantasy world the sufferer has immersed him or herself in, or worse, who is perceived as a threat to the profits which accrue from the various businesses associated with it.

This may be coupled with an extreme deference to certain authority figures, especially if they have any kind of celebrity.

Disturbing physical behaviours may be exhibited. In the presence of anyone the sufferer considers to be a Very Important Person, the behaviour may resemble a cringing or grovelling action.  It is common for the sufferer to grip the hair at the front of the head and tug it violently. Hyperflexion of the knee joints may occur when sufferers are confronted with something they (mis)perceive as a threat and these spasms are occasionally severe enough for the knee to contact part of the individual's face, which adds the risk of contusion, or even concussion, to the already debilitating symptoms.

Rather different physical symptoms result from the sufferer encountering someone they perceive as a threat. The physical symptoms can become aggressive in nature and may involve spitting, shouting and the use of threatening language.

Persons in position of authority may use their power to persecute those they see as a possible threat.

There is no doubt that prevention is the best cure but these conditions are now so widely spread and so contagious, it may be impossible to halt their spread. The social costs to the country are huge, especially to its 'intellectual capital'.

It is also argued that there are powerful people who benefit financially from the epidemic. That may go some way to explain the failure of the New Zealand authorities to act to stem the spread of these conditions, and even to have acted in ways that have had the opposite effect.

An example of what may well be a bad case of CRAP, is to be found in the case of the owner of a Wellington based tour company which runs Lord of the Rings tours.

A person or persons in Tourism New Zealand gave some negative feedback to the owner of the tour company about one of his guides. It was claimed that the guide had made negative comments about Peter Robert Jackson (aka Bracken Jetposserrot, see 'We are all bros here'). Not being a sufferer of CRAP, I can see why the accused might have made such comments - but he denies having made them.

His boss's inability to disengage his amygdala led him to betray the true reason for his outrage.  It was the tour guide's association with a Trade Union (aka the Noturnaides,)

So full of CRAP is this man, he made the statement on Radio NZ that, to be a member of a trade union,  is not a basic human right in New Zealand and that employing a member of a trade union, even one as innocuous as Actor's Equity, could harm his business. Yes, he said that - in public!

Welcome to Middle Earth.

I think a new national anthem is in order.

God of Profits at thy feet,
In the bonds of greed we meet
Hear our voices we entreat
God defend our surplus.

Guard New Zealand's ruling class
From trade unions' stupid farce,
Help us kick their boney arse,
God defend our incomes.

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